My mother wouldn't respect my asking "Please give me space" or "Don't discuss religion" because it means my "life" I have said it a zillion times- she said "If you saw a child on a railroad track- and a train coming- wouldn't you go help him off?" I said "Yes, but if it was an adult........" :-) My mother is weird. If she wasn't a witness, I would think she was demon possessed! She is so freaky! I even told her I thought the organization is a cult- and looked up the definition with her- she said "Then it is a cult- cause all this is true, but it is for our own good" I told her she was brainwashed, she said "Then Jehovah must have thought I needed brainwashing" I say- you can't make up your own mind- the organization tells you what to do & say & think , she says "They put YEARS & YEARS of training, translating, scholars, research- and I trust them that they know what is best for me" Then, I said- how do you think your family felt when you joined a cult? She said "I went from smoking, doing drugs, not caring, drinking, to straightening up my life & becoming a better person" I said- "I left the organization, stopped drinking, smoking & doing drugs, and became a good christian" Then of course she said I was never a witness, and with my new understanding & "adulthood" & christian outlook I should give it another try. Oh, today she said "The sign of the TRUE religion- as in her talk or part Thursday night 1) Tell others Gods name 2) Love among themselves- not sure what else. Well, the church I go to has love amongst themselves, and they WANT to be there- and don't just go so they don't get in trouble! I told my mom I had no intentions of being a second generation witness- just because I was raised in it- and it was time to question my faith. Then she said at the district convention, instead of saying we are in the last days- they said- FINAL PHASE- whatever the hell that meant. Oh, she said the ark door was closed long before it started raining, so it might already be too late for me.......................................... So, you mean I won't get to spend eternity with you & a bunch of other witnesses? How sad...............
Perfection Seeker
JoinedPosts by Perfection Seeker
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I COULDN'T DO IT!!!!
by Perfection Seeker ini know i just posted a few hours ago- but need to vent.
my mom was at the district convention last weekend.
i had found this site shortly before she went.
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Naughty words I said to my female client yesterday
by SixofNine in"did you have a nice fourth?
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Perfection Seeker
SIX OF NINE- YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT!??!?! SAY YOU DIDN'T! YOU "BAD SHEEP" YOU! :-)
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YOU WILL SUCK
by minimus inaccording to isa.66:10&11 we are told "you will suck and certainly get satisfaction".
what does this mean?
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Perfection Seeker
I am editing this because my reply was an inappropriate sexual comment. I apologize.
Melissa
Edited by - perfection seeker on 6 July 2002 14:3:47
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I COULDN'T DO IT!!!!
by Perfection Seeker ini know i just posted a few hours ago- but need to vent.
my mom was at the district convention last weekend.
i had found this site shortly before she went.
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Perfection Seeker
I appreciate all your posts & understand what you're saying. BUT, if I get 3 emails from my mother daily- saying how I am misled, how I don't love Jehovah, how I am so lost- how I am ruining the family, etc- it takes a toll. I almost WISH I was disfellowshipped- so they wouldn't be able to get their claws in me! My husband says they only have the power we give them- somewhere along the line- I must have given them ALOT of power. They push push push & say their opinions & judge you- yet we aren't allowed to say ANYTHING- for fear it will push them away. YET, the guilt sucks. I guess I wanted to say ONE thing to her today- just one thing that would make me smile, after her 45 minute speech, but I just couldn't. I guess I wouldn't knock on her door every Saturday morning for 45 minutes & say NEGATIVE witness things, yet she can do the pushing in HER direction, and that is "OK" cause its the "truth". I guess I do remember being in- and wanting to save people, but this is just overwhelming! Got on antidepressants yet again this week- cause of all the preaching & pushing she is doing- and I am not able to push back- and for me, whos family ties are SOO strong- I mean- like EVERY member of the family emails at LEAST once a day & calls- so there are strong ties- yet they don't know I go to church- HAPPILY- and think I don't love God. If it were a stranger- I could roll it off- but family- UGH! They know all the right buttons! I guess it is mostly guilt or doubt that gets me. I don't want to doubt, or let them project guilt onto me about ruining the family, or never seeing my dad when he gets ressurected, blah blah blah. If you knew my mother- you would understand! She is the MOTHER SHIP of the congregation, family, etc. Her tentacles are wrapped around EVERYONE
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I COULDN'T DO IT!!!!
by Perfection Seeker ini know i just posted a few hours ago- but need to vent.
my mom was at the district convention last weekend.
i had found this site shortly before she went.
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Perfection Seeker
I'm on the way to the bookstore now! :-) THANKS
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HELP-I'M ADDICTED!!
by Perfection Seeker ini just found this website on june 23- and haven't done anything else since!
i am spending 25 (lol) hours a day on this site!
i can't leave.
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Perfection Seeker
Bad Association- your post made me sad :-( Don't let them ZAP your spirit & motivation to live! They did that to me & I hated it! Tried suicide so many times- then in 1994- said SCREW IT- and left. (course got reinstated so I could have the priveledge (YEAH RIGHT) of talking to my family) so not exactly all the way out. I tried to email you- but its restricted- email me if you want to talk!
Melissa
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I COULDN'T DO IT!!!!
by Perfection Seeker ini know i just posted a few hours ago- but need to vent.
my mom was at the district convention last weekend.
i had found this site shortly before she went.
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Perfection Seeker
I know I just posted a few hours ago- but NEED to vent. My mom was at the district convention last weekend. I had found this site shortly before she went. I spent the last 10 days getting "ammunition" for when she came out in service today. So, prompt as can be, 10:15 the doorbell rang. My mom & two young sisters wanted to use the bathroom. Made idle chit chat- then I asked the girls to leave so I could talk to my mom. 30 minutes later- I was NOWHERE! I wanted SOOOOOOOOO bad to say something, deep, something critical, something to get her thinking, or something to let her know I was thinking.......but I couldn't do it. Partly because she is my mother, and so sweet, but also because I couldn't think of one thing to say! I wanted so bad to reason with her, or something, but she did most of the talking. And, funny, as you listen, and they spew off tons of words, so fast- and then say "Its so simple" I know I want nothing to do with the organization, and as she talked, I felt sorry for her, but then I thought "Could I be wrong?" I don't want to doubt myself, and I guess I don't want to pull her away, I don't know what I want. All I know- is when I sent those two girls out- I was going to question her or get her to thinking, and instead I got the usual JW bashing. Is there no end? I finally told her that I wanted her to shun me & stay away- if that is what she feels she needs to do- then she said "You obviously want NOTHING to do with me or Jehovah- so is it YOU that wants to shun me?" Man- if I didn't have my ENTIRE family in the organization, it would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO easy. Sometimes they get you between a rock & a hard place- and you just want to SCREAM!! So, this posting is my SCREAM Guess I'll see her next Saturday at 10:15..................Chocolate, I need chocolate... :-)
Edited by - perfection seeker on 6 July 2002 12:4:25
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The "Unforgiveable Sin" For Apostate...
by Perfection Seeker inthe last real "meaty" witness discussion i had with my mother, she said "you must have gotten that information from an apostate website, because that is the exact line of reasoning & order that all apostates use" i said that she was rude to call me an apostate, and that i am not afraid to read information, i like to gather facts.
(oh, by the way- that was before this website, now i am proud of being an apostate :-) thanks everyone) anyway, so i asked her what exactly the "unforgiveable sin" is.
she said "saying the truth is not the truth" so, i said- so if i say the witnesses aren't the truth, and really believe that, then later on , if i decide it is the truth, jehovah won't forgive me?
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Perfection Seeker
The last real "meaty" witness discussion I had with my mother, she said "You must have gotten that information from an apostate website, because that is the EXACT line of reasoning & order that ALL apostates use" I said that she was rude to call me an apostate, and that I am not afraid to read information, I like to gather facts. (OH, by the way- that was BEFORE this website, now I am PROUD of being an apostate :-) Thanks everyone) ANYWAY, so I asked her what exactly the "Unforgiveable Sin" is. She said "Saying the truth is not the truth" So, I said- so if I say the witnesses aren't the truth, and really believe that, then later on , if I decide it IS the truth, Jehovah won't forgive me? She said of course he would forgive you, he's a loving god. I said- then it really isn't the UNFORGIVEABLE sin- we went round & round & round & round about it. Of course, the witnesses say Apostacy is saying the truth isn't the truth. Well, thats THEIR truth. Other religions say the only unforgiveable sin is to say there is no god!
I liked one post in here that said every witness is an apostate, since being an apostate means leaving behind former religious beliefs.Main Entry: apos.ta.syPronunciation: &-'ps-t&-sE
Function: nounEtymology: Middle English apostasie, from Late Latin apostasia, from Greek, literally, revolt, from aphistasthai to revolt, from apo- + histasthai to stand -- more at STAND
Date: 14th century
Inflected Form(s): plural -sies
1 : renunciation of a religious faith
2 : abandonment of a previous loyalty : DEFECTIONSo, yes, according to this- I am an apostate, because I have abandoned my previous loyalty to the ORGANIZATION! But, I take great offense when someone says I don't love Jehovah. I do. I am a firm believer in God, pray daily, and try to live my life according to his commandments. BUT, I am a grown adult- and can read the bible & figure out for myself. I don't need an organization telling me not to talk to certain people.
I saw a brother of mine yesterday- he said "lets put the hostility behind us. So you don't love Jehovah & I do- we can still get together as long as you don't say negative things in front of me" I was boiling mad head to toe- and wanted to defend my love for God (Jehovah) but figured as usual, I would get no where with him.Maybe I have been gone too long, but what would be wrong with a witness coming in here, to see the "flip" side of the coin? Whats wrong with them taking literature at the door- to see what others believe- and then be able to help them by understanding their beliefs? I was SO afraid to even HEAR about these sites when I was a witness. Now, I think what if I had come here & read it while being a witness, wouldn't it have helped me to know what others think? Surely, it HAS to be that they are afraid of someone seeing the REAL LIGHT.
Well, this post has gotten long, but I just take offense to the way people say "YOU'RE AN APOSTATE" in a way that they think you have no hope of everlasting life. An apostate, by REAL definition, not the WTS definition isn't a bad thing.
Ok- well, thanks for "listening"Melissa
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The JW Virtual World
by jst2laws indo we live double lives?.
i was commenting on another thread and was momentarily disturbed by my own inclination to describe my predicament as living a double life.
that sounds dishonest, deceptive or is it just my jw indoctrination speaking.
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Perfection Seeker
Double life? Sure. It's probably like how homosexuals feel- who want to "come out of the closet" and are happy with their lives, but don't tell family & friends for the family & friends sake. So, we don't want to be a part of the organization, but they are still in, so why flaunt our lifestyle & hurt them when they come- it is easier to pretend. Who doesn't put on a show for company, so to speak? I mean, husbands miraculously don't fart (lol) when company comes over, you use manners at the table (lol) So, when you deal with witnesses, you are considerate of them. That isn't really compromising your standards or leading a double life- you are just being polite not to swear, or have lottery tickets lying around, hide the crisis of conscience book-ha ha. Just my two cents worth! :-) PS It is the CHRISTIAN thing to do to be respectful. They overstep bounds & PUSH PUSH PUSH, but it is easier when dealing with family to feel bad for them. For me- I blame the organization, not my family & friends. They have just been brainwashed over the years. I was "in" once, so I know how it happens & how it feels. You HATE to shun people, but "Its for their own good" and for your own good- blah blah blah. The witnesses of this generation aren't the ones who changed the bible or wrote the rules, they just fell for a line & now are in deep. I feel sorry for them- I am not mean to them, or hurtful, even though they have been hurtful to me- I know it is way bigger than them. If you feel sorry for them, somehow it's easier to deal with
Edited by - perfection seeker on 6 July 2002 10:8:19
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Ozzie's Weekend Poll #10
by ozziepost inthe weekend poll's come a bit earlier than usual this weekend; there's more to read!!!
this week's poll question is a follow-up to last week's question: "what did you think of when you heard that so-and-so had been df?
the question for this weekend is: .
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Perfection Seeker
My thought was always "how long will this last" Then, of course- my mind would go to the judicial committees- wondered how that went.
On a side point- when I got reinstated, and yes, it was ONLY to have dealings with my family- it was on a Monday night- they said "Now, you are technically disfellowshipped till the announcement Thursday night- don't tell anyone or talk to anyone" Screw that! I went DIRECTLY over to my parents house! (My dad was a servant- so he was a little worried they would see my car) And, the stupid thing was I got my judicial committee to get DISFELLOWSHIPPED on a Friday- they said it wouldn't take effect till the Thursday night meeting. DUH- hello- whats with the date? I'm either bad or good (ACCORDING TO THEM) whats with waiting till the "OFFICIAL" announcement? What a crock.